The Twilight of Love

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became.

 Sometimes in a long time, there is someone you cross paths with who changes your life, your views, your ideas, your philosophies to a level that you don't even seem to realize that you actually somewhere in between fell for them. The most satisfying feeling in the world. The right person to come through. It blinds you and shows you what is the beauty of the darkness around you. You find your world being blown out by them. No matter how independent you are and it doesn't matter how much in control you have your life all that matters is you have given it all to that one and only person  who is wrong for you in all the right ways. The undeniable connection you have with them, maybe they wont recognize it themselves, effects you and you life and changes ever thing around you. The stars, the moon of your life have a different gravitational point now and no matter how hard you try there is nothing you can to to not loose it all since your happiness is hidden in-between there too. So follow your beating heart to where it wants to take you and build a whole new world.

Beautiful Disaster

She's not a drama queen
She doesn't wanna feel this way
Only 17 and tired, yeah

She would change everything for happy ever after
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home

She's just the way she is
But no one's told her that's OK

I just came across this song today. I was amazed how the words literally explained how I'm feeling these days.Oh! Maybe I'm not 17 but even though I'm almost at the end of my teenage years I have learned alot. From the people I loved and the people I hated, the people who were my bestest of friends and then came those who never knew the real me. Maybe I would change it all just to have few of the blissful moments but then again I have changed myself to an extent after that I cant see if there is anything I should really change about myself. All I want is not feeling this way, not feeling empty inside. After all it's all about how you makeup your mind about being happy. At the end of the day it all comes down to one thing and that one thing is satisfying your inner-self. Contentment is a level of blissfulness that not all can have but to strive and get to it is the way to go.

Cosmic Love!

I was never into florence at all but then I heard this song and it seemed to be all about me and my situation *sigh* best song ever!

There's something inside me

There's something inside me,
Trying to break free,
Can anybody help?
Can anybody see?
The twisted realities,
Of our twisted fantasies,
Regrets of our deepest desires,
Secrets that are killing us,
The unspoken words,
Sadness that seers through,
The darkness of his heart,
Twilight of my soul,
Is pulling us togather,
Binding us forever,
His dark, deep eyes,
Like the black sun on my horizon,
Falling like a broken star,
Tears that I cry,
And how he holds me in his arms,
Hangs me on the edge,
Even though he is the reason,
I'm staying in love with my sorrows,
So there is something inside me,
The darkness of the love that has taken over.

The love, I loved.

As I lay on the ground,
Darkness encasing my existence,
Taking in the reality,
My reason to live wearying,
Refusing to let go, dying,
You're still are my last request,
Your soul shattering stare,
And your sparkling brown eyes,
Your smell that still lingers on,
Reminds me of my regret,
Being so blind even as you stabbed me,
Stripping me of what I had,
Pretended that I was all you ever wanted,
But it was all in my head,
Drawing in my last breath,
Watching you leave me for the dead,
Making it clear as the white moon above,
I lost the love I loved the most.

The mosrt randomest post :P

*sigh* Times running forward as fast as it could. Going through the bittersweet things these last days made me realize that after all life is not actually what you plan it to be. People make decisions for your or they simply just take over your life thinking that they are making it better but they actually are making it hard for you to live. Pealing off the ties that bind us is as hard as peeling off a coconut shell with your bare hands. Everything that we do is usually shaded with the fact that what the world is going to say. It effects our life and tears off our freedom. Though I'm not trying to make this a soul lifting blog (which I usually end up doing) it is still going that way :p  So back to reality, The reality that doesn't even exists. It's the picture that we paint ourselves. We usually don't even need a thing to remind us that we also are the part of the same world. Everything has its own two side, the bad and the good, the light and the dark. Either we paint ourselves black or white, that reflects how we go around acting towards people. I don't even know why I'm writing this right now XD. So the funniest thing that I came across today was a guy who posted video of himself. Talk about being too full of one's self.. Made me laugh my ass off after such a long time. The complexes and the desperation that people have never stops to amaze me. I just realized that this is a veryyy random post which doesnt even mean anything but anyhoo I was thinking of just writing (not even caring that how silly I sound right now) or if you see it the other way Im just putting off going to bed which is not right since I have to get up and all I think I should now leave which I'll do right now :P after I shut the pc down and everything :P

*Umeed=Hope*

Every now and then, you go through a phase when all you want to do is sit and sulk. You feel bad about yourself, start to think of all the people you might have disappointed. There's nothing or none who can cheer you up. You try to indulge yourself in stuff but get tired of doing it after some while. Nobody understands what actually you want and all you can think about is how people are going to hate you for the things you have done. Every passing moment is hard to get by. There's all but the silence around cause of you shutting everyone out. You have no idea for what you are suffering, feeling dead. You fight with everyone push them away. You change and change yourself hoping to get through life. You are suddenly afraid of risking it all again. Failed attempts after attempts, trying to make everything alright. Making excuses for every feeling just to make yourself feel better. You can't share whats really in your heart afraid of what people might say or how they would label you. All the love is buried deep inside of you. You want someone to come by and just sweep you off of your feet making it alright. Feeling empty inside like every fiber of your body is being ripped apart. Looking around and finding nobody to be there. But then there is this tiny fragment of the most brilliant light ever. Far away in the pitch black darkness of your life. It's the hope inside of you, making you realize that you have to make an effort yourself to make it better. You have to find yourself. Serenity sweeps over you making you see all the wonderful things around you, all the wonderful people there are for you waiting for you to come to them. The feeling of being lost somewhere starts to fade away as you clear your mind of all the worry, of all the depressing thoughts you ever had. That is the one moment you feel blissful. It's the mistakes that makes you realize where you were wrong and helps you grow out of your shell. It's the past that makes you strong, giving you the strength to live the present and to plan a better future for yourself. So, when there's hope for something good, there's nothing in this world that would stop the goodness from taking over your life